Cheryl, the Stalker Part 1

I know that I will hate myself forever if I don't write about this. All of this actually occurred on March 30th, I just haven't had time to write about it yet.

So. Daniel-From-Work. Nice guy most of the time, though he feels a constant need to pick on me (he's the one that coined the term "American Leprechaun.") Definitely needed to be taught a lesson.

His birthday was on the 29th, but he wasn't working that day. That's okay. I waited. I bided my time, because I looked up his schedule and saw that he was working the next day. Perfect. He'd never expect a birthday prank the day after his birthday.

Now, I'm not much of a prankster...I have no good ideas. And of course, I didn't want to do anything too mean, because, well, that's mean. So I called in an expert: Kristin's-Friend-Chris. Also known as my best frenemy.

Kristin's-Friend-Chris immediately came up with about twenty illegal pranks. I nixed them. Then we struck gold: Saran wrapping Daniel-From-Work's car. It worked doubly well because I could wrap the present I got him in all the layers, so I had a way to get that in too. However, Kristin's-Friend-Chris also wanted to get Kristin's car. Kristin is my manager, so I wasn't sure how thrilled I was about that, but technically it was his idea, so I went along with it.

Did you hear that, Kristin? It was Chris' idea.

Now, our plan was perfect. We got the saran wrap, Angela got a roommate to agree to drive her (Daniel-From-Work had been picking on her too, she had a score to settle).

One problem. I'm a girl. This means I don't notice cars. Ever. So I had no idea what Daniel-From-Work drove.

I figured this wasn't a big deal. Someone from work would know. Other people pay attention to stuff like that, right? So it was just a matter of figuring out who to trust.

I had a huge list made out, in order from those I knew to be the most trustworthy to...well, to the ones that I'd save as a last resort.

NO ONE KNEW ANYTHING.

All I got was that it was probably maybe white. *sigh*

So our second option was a stake-out. I was the only one available to do it. Me. The girl who needs glasses desperately and yet hasn't gone to get them. The one who can't see things more than ten feet or so in front of her. Sometimes not even then. That girl was supposed to do a stake-out.

Oh, yeah, this is a good idea.

Now, right before I left, I heard that a call was coming in for a manager. The rumor was that Daniel was calling in to say he'd be a little late. I thought I was incredibly lucky for hearing this, so I wouldn't give up as soon as his time to get to work rolled around. I knew I'd have to wait a little longer.

So, 5:45 I pull into the parking lot. Everyone was pretty sure he parked in the side parking lot (because that's pretty much where we all park) so I tried to get a good spot there.

Have you ever tried to do a stake-out in a Saturn Ion? Yeah. You can't see over anything. Or under anything. Or through anything, gosh darn those stupid tinted windows everyone's so crazy about.

So I started by memorizing all the white cars in the parking lot. I'd watch to see if he got out and walked toward the door (he'd have to walk by me to do that, I should have seen him in the rearview mirror.) And every fifteen minutes, I'd drive around the parking lot to see if I missed any white cars, so that if I did see him, whichever white car was new would be his.

5:45- I knew he was going to be late, this was just a precaution in case I heard wrong.
6:00-no big deal. He said he was going to be late.
6:15- Okay, he's really late, but usually people don't call in unless they're going to be at least fifteen minutes late.
6:30- Wow, he's really late. Did I miss him somehow? I drive around the other parking lot, but it's so much bigger that any of those cars could have been his. Useless.
6:45- Maybe I misheard. Maybe he was calling in sick, not late.
7:00- Screw this. I'm going inside to see if anyone knows anything.

Wow, this is getting long. I guess the only thing to do is--

to be continued...